Navigating Thanksgiving and Organizing

Another Thanksgiving has come and gone, and I'm pleasantly surprised. My mother actually stuck to a healthy menu. She's had her own ups and downs with weight, and this past six months she's gained about 20 lbs. I didn't quite know what to expect for Thanksgiving, if she had gone back to her old ways. But nope, she's back to eating healthy.  Over the course of the long weekend we ate roast beef, roast mixed root vegetables, baked fish, mini-veggie quiches. And for the big day, on the menu: organic roasted chicken, veggie casserole, and a kale salad. KALE! Between the good eats and all the yard work that I did around her place, I didn't gain any weight. That includes two pieces of homemade apple pie.

I did get to a TOPS meeting a couple of weeks ago and it was really good. Nice welcoming people, great vibe, and good tips. The only thing is that it is really out of my way, as in it took me almost two hours to get home by public transportation. None of the members live in my area so I'll have to mull  over joining. The costs are pretty low, $36 per year and a $5 monthly Chapter fee. It might be worth the hassle...

Otherwise, things have been busy in my corner of the world. A couple of minor colds, and some household maintenance issues: furnace, roof, Fall cleanup outside, and re-organizing the shed.

I've also just finished reading the book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo. It's given me the impetus to declutter some more. About a year and a half ago, I did a major clean up of the house, and actually my entire life.  I donated loads of clothes, kitchen items, books and stuff. I shredded some old bills and other papers that I thought I needed to keep. It was a lot of hard work over the course of several weeks.

But, since then a lot has creeped back in.  The messiness is a reflection of my state of mind at times, and adds unnecessary stress. And I never really tackled all my sentimental keepsakes. Have to admit, I have a hard time letting go of stuff.  But if you were to come and visit, you wouldn't see anything wrong... but if you open the closets or the drawers, look out!

Kondo advises keeping the things you love "that spark joy" and getting rid of the things you don't. Also interesting to me, she advises tidying by category rather than going room by room. Her book does not contain any photos of the method she advises to fold clothing, but there are tons videos on YouTube. And a lot of people have posted their before and afters online as well.

The actual book is translated from the Japanese so some of the writing style is a little odd sounding. And some of the ideas she presents do not apply really to the climate where I live, or my way of life. But it's easy enough to take the ideas that could work well and adapt them. I'm not ready yet to start this week, because I'm too busy in the evenings, but I'll probably give it a go soon, likely starting next week with my clothes, coats, shoes, boots and bags.

Weight down a little to 167.3 lbs.

Support Systems

In trying to break through my plateau, I've been looking into local support groups in my community. I figure maybe getting out of the house once a week to attend a meeting, meet new people, and get new perspectives that might help me change my mindset. A kick in the ass, of sorts.

Online support has been a tremendous help, such a great motivator, and so far has helped me to get over 50 lbs down from my highest weight, but I think I need some support face-to-face.

My first stop was to an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. The welcome I received was lukewarm. No problem, I thought, maybe this OA group is like a high school clique of cool kids? But as the meeting wore on, I found that I didn't really agree with the twelve steps... or the whole philosophy. I'm glad it works for some, but I know that it just wouldn't work for me right now.

Second on the list, a weight loss support group I found on Meetup. Even though it had great reviews, it turned out to be a  only asales pitch for a herbal appetite control supplement. I left as soon as I understood.

Thirdly, a Weight Watchers meeting. Since I found out the first meeting is free, and is an easy 30 minute walk from my house, I figured I'd check it out. The vibe was good, the meeting informative, and people were really welcoming (not just the leader who was trying to get me to sign up ASAP). The big down side are the fees: $35 to register and then extra weekly fees. Or almost $300 for six months. 

Budget-wise, I'd be taking a hit there. My fiscally conservative instinct is telling me not to join right now. But my impulsive free-spending part wants to try it now, now, now! Priority-wise, a personal trainer is where I should spend any extra money. Then if I had some left over, I'd think about paying that price for WW.

Next week, I'll check out a TOPS meeting, but since there is not one nearby, the closest about an hour by public transport from my place, it'll have to be on an evening where I have nothing else on my plate :)

In the meantime, I do have a long-time good friend who is also trying to lose about 30 lbs, so we do take lunchtime brisk walks together, and trade healthy recipes. Down side: We often enable each others' laziness! 

Weight 169.1 lbs

Trying to Break this Pattern

It's back to the same bad habits. I commit to a plan, lose five pounds, and then regain. Then repeat, again and again. The weekends are definitely my Achilles Heel. Without the structure I have during the week, it falls apart on the weekend. Even though Saturdays and Sundays are packed with activity, poor choices on my part when it comes to food is a big part of the cause. The past weekends have included several restaurant outings and barbecues with family and friends. I've done well avoiding junk at BBQs by bringing a big veggie platter. Not my choice to celebrate birthdays and anniversaries at restaurants, but it's certainly my choice as to what I choose to order off the menu.

There is something that will impede me from any restaurant eating in the next while: Financial issues! I'm still in the black as far as my savings are concerned, but my insurance company has not reimbursed me like they should have for the medications I've had to take for the past few years. Looks like a huge fight is a brewin'. Sigh. Big Stress. Yuck.

In the meantime, I'm on a strict budget. At least there is a very good selection of local vegetables around at great prices. For beef, chicken, fish,  etc., it'll be what's on sale that will dictate my menus.  No more organic, unless it's the same price or less than the non-organic food. Budget overrides ethics.

As for my new gym membership, I've cancelled it, thankfully with only a very small penalty. I did get a few good workouts in with a personal trainer, he gave me a body-weight exercise routine, so that knowledge will have to sustain me until I can afford him again. Despite my sabotaging ways, I do feel my clothes more loosely.

Weight: 171.7 lbs

Back to it

After a wonderful and completely relaxing vacation, I'm missing the tropics so much, especially Oahu. My lifestyle was so much more active there than back at home. Disturbed sleep was not an issue. And being in a completely different place, my seasonal allergies were non-existent. I'd never felt better! Here was an average day:

• 8am Wake-up
• Breakfast: Coffee first, with beans from a local plantation, to eat usually something simple, like eggs or yoghurt and fruit 
• 9am - Get outside and hike up a mountain or explore a nearby city's cultural scene
• Noonish - Big Lunch! Stir Fry, Japanese, or Thai, sometimes a burger but always making sure to have lots of fresh veggies 
• Head to a beach
• Read trashy romance novels under a palm tree 
• Shake off the laziness by body boarding or swimming in the waves
• If hungry, a healthy snack of a handful of nuts or some fresh fruit 
• 7pm, Sunset - Means time to shower off the sand
• Supper - Like lunch but smaller portions 
• Evening - Explore a nearby city with a walk or a drive
• 10 or 11pm - Sleep

What a tough life LOL

So now I'm over the jet-lag and I'm back in the groove of the daily grind. Weighing less, generally feeling better, and trying to keep as active as I can. But... yes there's a but, it is hard. My workload has increased due to lack of staff at work, the boss has called early meetings all week, and I've had to take on additional duties which leaves me so tired at the end of the day. Stress is creeping back in. 

I know this is just temporary until September when other staff members come back from vacation. I just have to hang in there just a few more weeks. Here's the plan:

• Morning workouts on the elliptical, and body weight exercises 
• Keep eating lots of veggies. There is so much choice now and at low prices!
• Be sure to get into bed early, no late nights

Battling Burnout

I've been MIA for the past month or so, but I've not gained weight, which is what usually happens when bloggers go silent. I've just been busy working on my mental state, which hasn't been all that great. 

Therapy and a support group have been helpful. But in addition to my own issues, add in some family issues, major work stresses, and I'm just plain tired, burnt out. And not getting enough decent nights sleep; 6 hours per night on average is far from ideal. I've been working with my therapist on issues I can control, and getting help to get back into the activities I used to love. 

My plan for this month includes getting away for a real vacation. The last time I took any non-medical related time off was around Christmas-time. Even though my issues and stresses will certainly be waiting for me when I come back, the break and a change of scenery will do me good. The only thing is, when on vacation it doesn't mean I'll be off my food plan, it'll just be a heck of a lot harder to stay on track. 

Although eating at restaurants will be more frequent, I'll make wise choices and am going to be sure to get as many meals/healthy snacks from local grocery stores or markets. My food template: Lots of vegetables and some fruit, lean protein, low-sugar, low-sodium, and limiting processed packaged foods.

As for exercise, I've been only been doing the minimum to keep the weight where it is. I still walk, do some yoga, and walk to and from the grocery store instead of using the car. But my level of actual physical fitness has degraded since I was last at this same weight when I was on my way up to gaining over 220lbs. Stamina is less, muscles have shrunk, flexibility is down and fat is higher. When I have to run to make it to the bus, I'm sucking wind like a vacuum cleaner... and that's not fit, not healthy at all. That's what I'll be concentrating on this month, building up fitness. 

I know I'll be hiking and walking quite a bit on vacation, but certainly there will be time unwind and laze on a beach or two with a good book. And get a little vitamin D recharge from the sun. 

There's nothing worse than coming back from a vacation, stepping on that scale, and seeing the number jump 10 lbs higher. That will not happen here.

A Small Victory

Removing an item off my trigger list feels really good. I won't say it it's 100% off forever and ever, but for the past several months anyway, ice cream has gradually lost its power over me. I don't know exactly when it happened, but I know partly why. Lactose-intolerance is a big part of it. Most dairy products now cause digestive turbulence of some kind in me. It doesn't feel good to eat it anymore, even in small quantities. Now there can be some in the house, and I won't touch it. Even taking a Lactaid and eating it anyway has no appeal. That soothing comfort I used to find there long ago is not there anymore.

My other main trigger foods remain and are not allowed in my house:

- anything salty and fatty, deep fried stuff, especially crackers and potato chips

- nuts, raw or roasted

- chocolate

- anything sugary and fatty, especially cereal and doughnuts

Food: Past couple of weeks have been good. No over-indulging at BBQs and parties. My strategy has been to load up on veggies, then have a small portion of BBQed meat or chicken.

Otherwise, I've measured and tracked everything while limiting sugar and salt as much as possible. I've also been searching for nice fiddleheads (tasty little unfurled fern)! I'll check the market tomorrow. I've only seen shabby ones so far this year.

Weight: Has stabilised at 169.7lbs... it was bouncing around like crazy.

Sleep: I can do better there.

Exercise: I can do better there too, especially if I don't get a good night's sleep, exercise won't come easy.

Mental: Making sure to go out with friends and not isolating is key at this point. I'm trying hard to focus on the things I can change, and still setting small doable goals. 

Promises, Promises

I met my goals for last week, modest though they were. I walked every day for at least 30 minutes and I met a friend for a movie. We saw Hannah and her Sisters at the local art house movie theatre. They run "oldies but goodies" a few times a month. It was nice to get out of my rut of isolation, and it was just what was needed. I also forgot how much I love Classic movies. And now I also want to visit New York in the Fall :)

After hosting a 80s movie night at my place last night with a couple of friends,  I do feel like I'm slowly getting back into the swing of things. We watched Flashdance, Little Darlings and Foxes. While I wouldn't call them classics, I do call them fun movies about love and friendship.

 

The pollen vortex is affecting me quite a bit, so I'm very happy the pharmaceutical industry exists. I'm sure I'm single-handedly keeping tissue makers in business these days!  Switching to a morning workout on the elliptical in the basement instead of outdoor walks in the morning and during my lunch break is my best course of action.

Doable goals for this week:

1- Exercise 30 minutes every day.

2- Measure the food I eat with actual measuring cups, spoons and kitchen scale, because my portions are still too big.

Since it's 80s flashback week, here's Naked Eyes with Promises Promises. Boy, music videos were so low-budget back then! :

Sink or Swim?

That's what I keep thinking to myself these days. Do I want to sink or swim?

I've been dealing with a lot of stuff; not just the physical, but the emotional and just all-around painful, not just from the present but the past too. Add to that questioning my faith in what I thought I believed in. Right now, it's sometimes hard to see the future or make plans for one; it's not impossible, just difficult.

It's like being unbalanced on a kind of precipice, and fighting against the slide into grief and depression. I am getting professional help and have been going to a specialized support group, which has been incredibly helpful.

No, I have not fallen face-first into a barrel of ice cream or chips. The solution to my issues is not that easy. And it would be easier, I've done it before, pushing down and numbing the pain with junk food.

My two closest friends know what's been going on and have been supportive. But I've been isolating myself from other friends and acquaintances. It's something that I have been slowly doing since January, and it's really not healthy. With various medical appointments, hospitalization, and now that I am well, the increased work stress, making legitimate and not so legitimate excuses to stay away from social activities has been easy. That is something I'll start to change.

Weight: 175lbs. Yes, that's a set-back and is a result of not getting regular exercise. At first, not being physically able to walk briskly, and then not wanting to for the past three weeks, has been the reason the extra 7lbs. Since walking is one of the ways I cope with the stresses of the daily grind, I do miss having that peace of mind only exercise can bring. I realize now it's a necessity in my life.

Food: Have not been tracking. At first, I was on a medical diet, then went back to my usual template, mostly eating veggies, lean proteins and fruits, and some carbs like oatmeal and high-fibre bread.

-I did have some real ice cream (made with cream and eggs, not modified milk ingredients), but had some digestive turbulence afterward. It seems my lactose intolerance is worsening slowly.

-Ate a bag of corn twists and regretted that so much, especially due to the high salt content. My face actually showed the bloat and my body was sluggish.

Plans for this week: Actually having a plan with doable goals is a good first step! 1-Get back into an exercise routine. 2-Contact some friends and make arrangements to get-together for a movie.