Summertime Sadness and Getting Back on Track

The weather here has been very up and down. Sunny and warm, perfect days really, then the past few days cold and now rainy and autumn-like.  Actually I had some home-made chicken soup tonight for supper. I always keep some kind of soup in the freezer in case I get sick. This time the soup was a healthy comfort; it took the chill off almost everything.

I've been going through something difficult, so I'm feeling a lot of sadness, but sad without negativity. There are things I can't control. I have them go and have faith that things will work out for the best in the end. Finding true joy again will take time and dwelling and moping in negativity is not an option. I'm focusing on changing the things I can. Like taking care of my health and fitness.

The doctor gave me the go-ahead to resume an active lifestyle, so the plan is to slowly get back to brisk walks, get back on the elliptical, do some weight training and yoga/pilates. My body is at about the same weight as it has been for the past while, 181.7 lbs, but I feel so much less fit. My arms have quickly turned flabby and my body is so stiff. It's actually very scary how quickly this happened. 

I'm glad I'm more and more able to view food just as fuel not as something to fill a void. Will ice cream make my current situation any better? Nope, it'd just be added extra calories I don't need. Would chips or pizza make me happy? Nope, they'd just make me feel dehydrated and bloated because of all that salt.

We all face stresses and set-backs. It's the way you deal with them determines whether you've made progress or not.  I'm proud I have made progress.

Stasis

Have been taking things easy. A lot of couch surfing which is something I'm actually having a hard time dealing with. You'd think that watching episodes of various HBO shows wouldn't bore me, but honestly I'd rather be more active. The weather has been so nice lately, perfect weather really, I'd rather go for a swim or a hike, but have to take it easy and heal up for another five or six days. Gentle walking and beginner T'ai Chi has been it for exercise. 

Food-wise I'm eating lots of veggies and some locally grown fruit. Example delicious peaches! I could eat a whole basketful. Peaches trucked in from other countries taste mostly like cardboard. Made some crock pot pulled pork. I can't remember which other blogger had mentioned it and I've had a hankering for some since. I've cut my portion sizes in consequence of the lighter activity so I haven't gained this week :)

Weigh-in Wednesday (a little late!) and an update

I've been basically eating clean for the most part, and when I have indulged I've been making sure that the indulgence is actually worth the calories. 

Examples: 

1) I was offered a slice of grocery store cake with cheap ingredients that I had a hard time pronouncing = not worth it!  

2) Homemade raspberry pie made with locally grown organic berries = worth it and had a normal-sized slice, not a big one!

Been having some cravings on and off for Chester's Corn Twists, one of my long list of kryptonite foods. You know, the foods that can seriously derail you and throw you way way off track.  I think it's just stress. Even though I'm still on vacation, I've had a series of doctors appointments and have had a minor procedure done yesterday. The only exercise I can do for the next few weeks is walking. That's okay since that's my main exercise anyway.

Weight is still fairly steady at 182.5 lbs.  Honestly while I'm going through this medical stuff, I'm just trying my best not to gain. Not exactly the point of a weight-loss blog, but that's how it is for now. 

No Weigh-In this Week...

...because I got a last minute invite to a friend's cottage for a few days and am nowhere near a scale. And that's okay. I'm not over-indulging and have been  keeping active by walking and now swimming, canoeing and hiking. And I'm certainly sleeping soundly at night! 

I do appreciate this lovely tranquillity, fresh air and being far from the city. But this is a summer home rather than a seasonal cottage so it's not getting back to basics... by no means. Laundry, dishwasher, TV and wifi, so it's a very comfortable getaway. No sleeping on a slowly leaking mattress in a cramped tent this year LOL

I've also been catching up on some fun novel reading. I usually don't get much of a chance during the work week; these days it's maybe a few minutes before bed. The bus is way too crowded during the commute and truth be told, I've missed my stop once or twice on account of an interesting part in a book!

On the list:

-Mad About the Boy by Helen Fielding 
(third Bridget Jones book and apparently most hated by fans? We'll see. I'm about half-way through now)
-The Good Luck of Right Now by Matthew Quick 
(same author as Silver Linings Playbook)
-A couple of Scandinavian mysteries
-And of course, a couple of smutty romances ;)

Vacation time

I'm off from work for a couple of weeks and I sure need the time off. When clients starts to irritate you, time for a break! I'm usually a mellow, go-with-the-flow type of person, but when I start getting too be a cranky pants, then it's vacation time!

No real plans. Doctors' appointments prevent any long journeys anywhere right now. Just some day-trips and playing tourist in my city. There are all sorts of festivals and lots of free music shows around.  Money is very tighter this year because of medical expenses and at the same time trying to save to buy a house. Been trying to save for a while now and it's not easy. The cost of living keeps on rising, but my salary doesn't keep pace.

I do try not to succumb to the temptation that just because I'm on a vacation, it's a free-for-all food-wise. Since it's summer, there is more tasty local produce around so there's no excuse to eat crap when tasty strawberries and veggies like lettuces, such as Swiss chard, are available and not trucked in from the other side of the world.
  

One of the hardest situations for me to navigate these days are parties and BBQs. When treats are all laid out in front of me, I am now tempted. I think it's just because I'm in a more vulnerable head-space right now. I usually bring along a fruit or veggie tray and stick with the healthy stuff and keep as far away physically from the treats as possible. I have actually left a party early when I felt like I was going to cave in. Most friends seem to understand. If they don't they are just not real friends.

More of the same and Wednesday Weigh in

The numbers on that scale don't lie, I'm at 182.3lbs. So holding pretty well steady for the past while. I don't mind too much. This medication I've been on has been challenging. The fatigue and occasional bloating, just ick. Anyway, another month on the meds to go.

I've had some close calls with cravings and such but most of the time, I've been able to let them pass. Mostly. I did have a 1/2 cup of lime green jello this past weekend. I still have no clue why I've been craving that for the past few weeks. But that 1/2 cup did the trick and I'm not craving anymore. It's rare that I have sugary stuff. I've reduced the amounts of sugar I consume and when I do have some sweetness, it's maple syrup, honey or stevia, in small amounts.

Was a good girl on Canada Day. Did not indulge but waved my red and white flag instead!