Tuesday, 16 October 2012


Why is it when you're making progress you decide to make bad choices?  It's one thing to have a slip or give yourself a treat once in a while but if it's a continued repetition of badness over days... that equals self-sabotage.

For me my main triggers are emotions, loneliness, fear, and frustration, but also PMS.

On the emotional side, what's working for me is continuing to make small steps and being aware of what's happening on the inside when I'm sabotaging. Books and information online about mindful and intuitive eating have helped me re-learn to recognize what feeling full actually means.

With becoming more fit, I know if I skip exercising for more than a couple of days or choosing an easy short walk instead of challenging myself to power up "mo-fo" hill, that means I'm starting to fuck up. I check myself, ask myself why am I not getting up off the couch, and begin from scratch the next day.

With food, it's the grocery store and the tempting treats everywhere! I keep to the produce section, meat section, and try not to venture too far through the other aisles. But it's a definite struggle every single time.  My man also plays a part in this... and his love of junk food. I've had to ban him from storing that stuff in the kitchen. If he leaves them around, chances are I'll eat them. But it's getting easier to resist over time as I'm slowly losing my taste and appetite for the junk.

When I'm out at a restaurant, I'm aware of my choices. Sometimes they're good choices, sometimes  not so good. But I know my digestion has slowly changed.  Now, if I eat a large amount of fried this, that, or the other, it will have me cramped up, bloated and retaining water and I'll feel miserable the next day.

PMS wise, I know when it's coming give or take a couple of days. When I'm craving a huge bowl of popcorn buttered and salted followed with a Toblerone chaser, it's getting to be that time of the month. I allow myself to ride the waves of hormones while trying not to give in to those pesky cravings.

Changing old patterns of thinking and eating/exercise habits is not easy. I've made lots of small changes over this past while. And made lots of mistakes too. Working on my inner self has been as equally important. Knowing exactly why I packed on the fat is key. I'm using tools and strategies to cope with emotions in a healthier way and it especially helps by taking it one day at a time.


  1. Taking things a day at a time is all we can do. Thankfully, as we think about things and get more used to our new habits they do seem to erase some of the older bad ones...partially at least :-)

    Keep on and at it and enjoy each and every victory, however small it might be!

    1. Thank you for the kind words of support. They were nice to read today :)

    2. Hi Nikki
      Lovely to meet another apple fan across the water. :-)
      My usual ones are Pink Lady, but I did enjoy those Honeycrisp and am quite partial to a decent Braeburn too.
      I read back through some of your early posts and we sound like we have a similar story in a lot of ways. Your plan looks like a good sound one, you seem to be getting where you want to be and and I wish you every success for things to come. It can be a long, hard road but it is SO worth doing. I love that you see this as a lifestyle change. For me that was a huge advantage as the word 'diet' has always signalled minor success followed by major setback. Once I 'got it' and realised I really had to change, things finally started going in the right direction. Although I've had my share of setbacks I've kept at it and don't regret it for a second!
      All the best