Between a Rock and a Hard Place

I wasn't able to post as I usually do mid-week as a big snowstorm came rolling  through here and I spent a couple of my evenings shovelling snow.  After I was done, I chose a warm shower to rinse off the sweat, soothe sore muscles and then sleep instead of posting.

Blue Sky! A small break in the clouds

Another challenging issue is my computer, my rapidly ageing computer with its unsupported browsers. Although I am reading blogs, sometimes when I try to comment, the interwebz swallow the comments into the abyss.  I'll likely be using the computer at the office or the library as an alternative until I can buy a new computer after the holidays.  I'll do some research online but I just can't face an electronics store right now to test products; they are so crazy busy right now.

Weight on Wednesday: 169.8 lbs

Emotionally right now I'm facing some heartbreak.  I'm not going to go into details, but I'm having a tough time.  The reason why I mention it at all is to show how I am breaking the cycle of emotional eating.  

After a deluge of of work at the office, stress on the home-front, heartbreak and physical fatigue from shovelling, I was feeling just so tired of everything.  Five years ago, I would have most definitely soothed myself with food: ordered in a couple of pizzas, wings and fries and gorged over the course of the weekend.  

This time, when I came home and sat for a few moments on the couch, my thoughts strayed briefly to ordering in pizza and I had this little conversation with myself:

JUST STOP. STOP AND THINK.  What do you really want?

-To feel better yes of course, but ain't happening right now.  I can only focus on doing what is best for me. 

AND WHAT IS THE BEST FOOD?  It ain't two pizzas over two days is it?

-No. Only if I want to go back to being over 220lbs.

EASY CHOICE THEN?

-Yes. 

After that I got up, looked in my fridge, found eggs, green peppers, mushrooms and some lactose-free Swiss cheese and made myself an omelette. And truly felt so much better afterwards for making that choice.

What is important to me is to always have healthy choices available in the kitchen. If I didn't happen to have have eggs and veggies on hand, I do have a freezer with a few soups, a couple of portions of Moroccan chicken stew, some chili, and some frozen veggies.

With the holidays, both at work and at parties, the massive amount of food temptations are a bit overwhelming right now. I don't want to isolate myself by skipping out of all activities, but food centered activities I'm not participating in any. Like the cookie exchange and cookie competition at work. I'll be at my desk. I do not want to put myself into a difficult food situation on purpose.  What I can do is take it day by day, situation by situation, moment by moment, choice by choice.  Making the right choices.  And leaving parties early if need be.

I pledge not to gain weight over the holidays.  Last year, from American Thanksgiving to the Orthodox Christmas I lost 5lbs with the January Jeans Club.  I'm re-reading Marion's archived January Jeans posts from last year at Affection for Fitness to keep motivated.  Come January 1st, I will not have any regrets about my choices.