Status Quo

I hoped I could write I've made tons of progress, but no.  I'm in the same spot as ever. Weight swings from 180s to low 190s and I'm a size 16. Definitely lack of sleep, teamed with fighting the Black Dog of depression saps all energy and motivation. Days seem to melt into one another. Temptations flow in. And here I am again.

Weekends have been difficult. After seemingly long days at the office, and insomnia at night, I'll sleep in Saturday and Sunday morning. Then we go out for supper--could be restaurant, could be with at a family member or friend's house. And overeat there. Sometimes I do cook something, it's usually a healthy balanced meal, but I overeat.

Although I've stuck to walking to the store get groceries, I've sabotaged that by having a meal delivery kit to bring three big suppers to my door for the week. The portions in those are huge so even though the meals are supposed to feed two, I could, and should, divvy them into four meals to suit my nutritional and calorie needs.

Daily walking has not happened in a consistent way over the summer and my flabby thighs show it. On average I guess I walked outdoors maybe twice a week. This past Thursday, I walked about 30 minutes uphill after work and felt so much better for it afterwards. I did go on some bike rides this past summer but not enough for it to be called a workout in anyway.

Plan for the week: Daily writing in a paper journal. Ten minutes.

Might seem simple, but it's a start. One day at a time. Sitting down (not in front of tv, or device, or laptop), taking just ten minutes  each day to write initentions for the next day (re:family, food exercise, work, hobbies), feelings, what happened during the day, and a food log. 

Food Plan for the month: Limiting food box delivery to once a month.  

Why restart again now? Winter is coming, it's getting colder, and the sunlight here has shifted. I tend to hibernate in winter already and absolutely don't want to let the Black Dog have free reign.