The Bee's Knees?

Not so much. I zigged when I should have zagged and ended up with an injured knee. Only a little pain, but the inflammation is bothersome so I'm taking it easy for a couple of weeks until the tendonitis heals up. This is an ongoing issue that I've had to be careful of ever since gaining weight in my teens and twenties.

In the meantime, I'm doing upper body strength and just plain easy walking... no elliptical or trampoline. Lunges, heavy stair work and such are off limits for a while.

Food-wise, I'm struggling with eating my emotions. These days it's loneliness. 

• I made the conscious choice to order two medium pizzas and eat them over the course of three days. 

• I  made the conscious choice to order fries and down a pitcher of sangria when I was out and about with friends. 

Strange how I still felt lonely amongst friends. Did the food  and drink make me feel better? Temporarily. How did I feel when I woke up the next morning? Groggy and zero energy throughout the day, and was bloated and chubby-faced from all the sodium.

Weight-wise, I haven't gained, I haven't really lost. Bouncing up and down around the 200lb mark.

My goal for the next few weeks is to do some inner work. Stuffing my emotions with food isn't doing me any good. There are tons of resources online and  I've got a couple of Jillian Michaels books I haven't yet read. I'm scheduling the inner workout and it'll be part of my daily exercise from now on.

Giving in to sabotage

My folks came for a visit. Their visits are fun and all but I'm trying to slim down - they know this - but my mother brought some takeout Chinese food and pie. I insisted on serving myself and threw together a salad to go with it to mitigate the damage. Refusing food would be like World War 3 and I wasn't ready for a big confrontation. I just said that I'm trying to make healthier choices.

The next day my mom took me shopping at Costco. I've only been there a few times but hadn't been too impressed. This time I scored some Larabars, some organic veggies and a great price on Cascades Enviro toilet paper. But... the place was nutso-filled with people, like it was Christmas or something. Carts smashing into one another, lots of grabbing and lineups galore. Since I'm only shopping for one these days, buying in bulk doesn't always make sense. So it ain't the place for me.

My mother got a good deal on chocolate bars... because my dad wanted one. My suggestion was that we all walk to the corner store to get one each, but they decided that was too hard, so my mom bought a variety pack of 18 at Costco. My list of trigger food include the ones she bought: Caramilk, Crunchie, Crispy Crunch and the biggest trigger: Wunderbar. I had two.

One the whole, not much damage was done because I got up early every day and powerwalked for an hour, including the "mo-fo" hill, and came home a sweaty mess. But the relationship I have with food and my mom is still a problem.  I'm going to visit them in a few weeks for Thanksgiving (yes, I'm Canadian) and I'll have to have some sort of strategy worked out to deal with this by then other than just giving in.

Struggling with T.O.M.

I've needed so much sleep this week it's actually affected my job. I did have to call in to work a few times saying I'd be late. Trying to get workouts in and dealing with crazy lady hormones, well the upshot is I've been averaging 10 to 12 hours sleep a night.  A couple of evenings I went to bed early at 8pm!!

Cravings have been super-strong too, but I did count my calories to track my cheats. That Dairy Milk Hazelnut chocolate bar, that half the fat lemon ice cream and big dirty muffin didn't eat themselves, so I take full responsibility for it. I wrote down how much each cost me and am working off those extra calories.

I wish I could go back on the pill to regulate this, but since my main man and I will be trying to get pregnant in the next year, any sort of drugs are a no-go. A friend suggested that I see a Naturopath but I'd like to see if weight loss helps calm the symptoms.

One little craving I had one morning was for eggs and avocado. I'd never combined these two things and was surprised at how tasty this was... only remembered after eating it that I should have taken a picture. D'oh!

Pre-heat toaster oven to 375F. 

Halve an avocado. Place on aluminum foil. Roll ends of foil to make a bowl shape. 

Crack egg into avocado pit hole. Some of the whites will run. 

Salt and pepper. I used a sprinkling of Cayenne pepper. 

Place in oven for about 20 minutes or until the egg is cooked how you like it. 

Deliciousness!!

Losing it in all the wrong places

Dressing up for a fancy occasion yesterday and when trying on my little black dress, I noticed my tummy rolls were in full evidence. Of course I have an industrial strength flab fighting garment that looks like swimsuit. But when I tried said garment on... I've definitely lost weight from my boobies! Quickly I double checked with the tape measure and yes, I'm down an inch off the band and half a cup on one side and a full cup on the other. WTF!  No fair!!!!! Why me!!!

OK, enough with the pity party: I'm losing weight so that's good.  I'm sure it even out soon enough. Anyway once I got myself put together, I looked and felt nice in my dress and in the shrug to cover the flabby upper arms. The fancy event passed without any major incidents. No accidental rips or tears in the dress. And I was good at controlling myself in front of the sumptuous buffet that was laid out.  I'm looking forward to the day when I feel pretty and confident again when wearing a dress... and without the shrug!

Facing facts

I've been lacking in consistent exercise and not eating a proper breakfast. That's why in six months, I've not slimmed down as much as I want. Truthfully I've not yet been able to make these a habit. Working out two times a week is not enough to lose the amount of weight I want. And picking up a bagel or "healthy bran" muffin from the cafeteria at work is not breakfast. Skipping brekkie altogether is definitely not the wisest choice either. I'm doing well with snacks lunches and suppers.

At least I'm not fooling myself by saying I've hit a plateau. I'm not looking for a quick solution like meal replacements like Slim Fast, Body by Vi or jumping on some crazy diet bandwagon every other week, and then crying boo-hoo-hoo about how the diets don't work.

I've got other things to cry about... and that is the state of my relationship with my man. I've started to speak with a professional about this. Not because of any abuse issue, but I need someone to help me sort out my emotions and only then will I make the decision to stay or bail.

I commit to getting a decent nutritious breakfast everyday.
I commit to moving my body for an hour each day.
I commit to working out six days a week.

These are things I know I can do. I have to for the sake of my health: my body and mind.