Summer Plans: Destination France

My man and I are heading to France so he can introduce me to meet his extended family and so we can attend his big family's reunion. Since I've already seen a lot of Paris (I lived there for a few months), and he's been basically visiting France every summer on and off over 30 years, we probably won't be taking in the usual tourist sights. I might try and cheeze it up by forcing him up the Eiffel Tower. But I'm sure we'll do a lot of walking around,  because he loves to take 6 hour walks. From Paris we'll slowly travel towards the Mediterranean where his family resides. The average temperatures in the south in June and July are hot-hot-hot.

So as a chubby girl whose thighs rub together, and who sweats up a storm, this is a recipe for an uncomfortable trip. I'm not a fan of hot summers and I love my air conditioner.  Hoping I can shrink some more before the trip so I won't get as many heat rashes as usual.

As for food, well since I have a lactose issue, most fromages are out of the question. I have been told that there are a lot of fresh vegetables and fruit available at reasonable prices in the summer in the south. But finding and even preparing the meals I'd like might prove difficult. Of course, lots of good carbs can be found... ah les baguettes, les  crepes, les patisseries... yikes!!

I've been dreading this aspect of the trip so much that I even gave thought to going on SlimFast!! So not good! Right now I'm eating clean, but frankly I'm finding exercise is a struggle. I get to it maybe 2 times a week, for an hour each time of weight training and cardio. I'll have to find the strength somewhere to get it up to 6 times a week. At the moment it is still too cool for me to take the bike outdoors. Hoping next week will be warm and I get off my butt and quit keeping the sofa warm!

Scale busters

Just when you think you've made progress taking it one step at a time, something comes along to send you two steps backs. This past week, it was the fact that my home scale gradually got out of whack and is 8 lbs off. And by 8 lbs, I mean I actually weigh another 8lbs more than I thought. I'm just happy that I've also been relying on the tape measure!!! Honestly, in the past, I would have been so depressed, I would have drown my sorrows in a bag of corn twists and a tub of ice cream.

But I can't help feeling sad... I know that there are always going to be challenges along the way... I just wish it were easier.  I'd better learn how to deal with it now, head on, rather than retreating into myself and wallowing in self-pity, as I have done so many times in the past.

Many Plates and a Big Plateau

Didn't do so well with eating this week.  Stress eating due to job insecurity, so five days off the rails.  It culminated with a family get together at a French restaurant where meals were shared family style.  A little bit of this, a little bit of that went into my mouth, my glass of wine refilled six times by our prompt waiter... and I rolled away from the table.  You know that overly-full plus drunky-drunk feeling?  Sigh.  My man and I took a bit of a walk after.

Usually at this point in my weight loss, I'd give up.  Surrender.  Dislocate.  I go back to sitting on the couch and stuffing my face with corn twists, followed by a Wunderbar with a Cola chaser.  This time is different.  Am I going to give up?  NO!!!  I'm getting my eating back on track and won't wallow in self-pity anymore.

Sunny days on the way

So I've been struggling with getting a good night's sleep and the time change didn't help. This week, we had a record breaking week of high temperatures: the humidex was at 30C. The sunny days seemed to have perked me up. Coming out of hibernation I guess, ha ha! Although my sleep hasn't improved much, my energy levels throughout the day seem to be improving. Hooray, here comes the sun!

My next hurdles are improving nutrition and getting regular exercise. Foraging for food like a Spring bear? Not me! Looks like I've not been getting enough protein, so it's turkey, tuna, and swiss chard on my shopping list. On the exercise front, I've been so tired in the morning and after work, I've not been pushing myself at all. Dialing it in big time.

I'll try to do better next week.

Lack of Sleep

I'm starting to think that my sleep troubles are playing a bigger role in the lack of weight loss so far. Or should I say in my overeating. There are a ton of articles and research studies online about how lack of sleep leads to weight gain. And how lack of sleep affects hormone and blood sugar levels, yikes!  I'm averaging about 6 hours a night. I know it should be 7 to 9 hours. I usually "catch up" on the weekends.

Although I've changed a lot of my eating habits, I'm just so hungry at the end of the day, I'm just eating too much. What I haven't yet changed are my sleeping habits. I generally have to get up around 7:15 a.m.   I usually actually fall asleep between 1 and 2 in the morning.  So what is keeping me awake? TV, Internet, stress, brain can't stop thinking, so many reasons.

My bedroom environment is a little chaotic... right now I've been sorting through clothes, so they are piled everywhere. I'll work on the clothes tomorrow. I do have decent curtain on the windows to block out the light from the street lamp. Nice mattress and pillows. Slightly cool room temperature. So according to the articles, my environment is not the problem. Well all I can do is try to get prepared for bed about 10 p.m. and slowly unwind. Hoping this helps!!!

The Plan

I'm 5'4" and have to lose about 65 lbs or so. I'll be posting my weight loss progress every so often.  For me, it's not about the number on the scale. It's if my clothes fit, if I have the strength and energy to go on a 4-hour hike, if I feel comfortable enough in my skin to wear what I want without being self-conscious.  Or walk around naked in front of my man without having to hide my shameful rolls.

FOOD: There's no diet. Nothing is off-limits. It's truly a lifestyle change, really. Just working on preparing healthy meals and mindful eating. I've already stopped eating a lot of processed foods. I do the organic thing when I can, but it can get pricey. I've never been a kitcheny-type girl, but I'm trying to cook recipes that satisfy me, so I don't have to eat a huge dessert afterwards. But if I do overindulge, I won't say "Oh well, that's it, I give up." This time around, I'm just going to take it one step at a time and try again the next day.

EXERCISE: Aye there's the rub. I hate to exercise, always have, so I'm starting out with walking. I can't afford a gym membership right now, but I that's okay. I have an elliptical, a rebounder and some hand weights in the basement.  I plan to start using them in a few weeks. I also plan to buy a second-hand bicycle later on in the spring.

Being honest with myself also plays a big part. I'm keeping a food and workout journal to make sure I'm doing what it takes to lose the weight.

Ready to start

So why the title Fat Girl Won't Run?  I'm not going to run away this time from losing weight. This isn't my first time promising myself that this time I'll really lose it by working out then after 2 weeks going back to the safety of my couch and eating a bag of Chester's Corn Twists.

Why did I pack on the pounds? What am I getting out of being fat?  Safety... it's my barrier, a wall to keep out others. 20 years worth of eating my emotions.
I overeat because I'm lonely.
I overeat because I'm bored.
I make bad food choices knowingly.

I carry a lot of weight around my belly and hate of sight of those rolls. I hate the way my thighs rub together so much so I get rashes and nasty ingrown hairs.

Why lose it now?  I think I've finally figured out most of my emotional past/shit. I feel healthy and awesome on the inside and it should be reflected on the outside. Also I've finally met a great guy who sees through my crap and loves me unconditionally.

Starting weight: 210lbs        (Goal: 150ish)

Current Measurements:
Chest : 40"
Waist:  42"
Ass:  49"
Upper Thigh: 29"
Bicep: 16.5"
Calf: 17"
Current Clothing Size: 16/18; XL/1X     (Goal: 8/10; Medium)