Stasis

Have been taking things easy. A lot of couch surfing which is something I'm actually having a hard time dealing with. You'd think that watching episodes of various HBO shows wouldn't bore me, but honestly I'd rather be more active. The weather has been so nice lately, perfect weather really, I'd rather go for a swim or a hike, but have to take it easy and heal up for another five or six days. Gentle walking and beginner T'ai Chi has been it for exercise. 

Food-wise I'm eating lots of veggies and some locally grown fruit. Example delicious peaches! I could eat a whole basketful. Peaches trucked in from other countries taste mostly like cardboard. Made some crock pot pulled pork. I can't remember which other blogger had mentioned it and I've had a hankering for some since. I've cut my portion sizes in consequence of the lighter activity so I haven't gained this week :)

Weigh-in Wednesday (a little late!) and an update

I've been basically eating clean for the most part, and when I have indulged I've been making sure that the indulgence is actually worth the calories. 

Examples: 

1) I was offered a slice of grocery store cake with cheap ingredients that I had a hard time pronouncing = not worth it!  

2) Homemade raspberry pie made with locally grown organic berries = worth it and had a normal-sized slice, not a big one!

Been having some cravings on and off for Chester's Corn Twists, one of my long list of kryptonite foods. You know, the foods that can seriously derail you and throw you way way off track.  I think it's just stress. Even though I'm still on vacation, I've had a series of doctors appointments and have had a minor procedure done yesterday. The only exercise I can do for the next few weeks is walking. That's okay since that's my main exercise anyway.

Weight is still fairly steady at 182.5 lbs.  Honestly while I'm going through this medical stuff, I'm just trying my best not to gain. Not exactly the point of a weight-loss blog, but that's how it is for now. 

No Weigh-In this Week...

...because I got a last minute invite to a friend's cottage for a few days and am nowhere near a scale. And that's okay. I'm not over-indulging and have been  keeping active by walking and now swimming, canoeing and hiking. And I'm certainly sleeping soundly at night! 

I do appreciate this lovely tranquillity, fresh air and being far from the city. But this is a summer home rather than a seasonal cottage so it's not getting back to basics... by no means. Laundry, dishwasher, TV and wifi, so it's a very comfortable getaway. No sleeping on a slowly leaking mattress in a cramped tent this year LOL

I've also been catching up on some fun novel reading. I usually don't get much of a chance during the work week; these days it's maybe a few minutes before bed. The bus is way too crowded during the commute and truth be told, I've missed my stop once or twice on account of an interesting part in a book!

On the list:

-Mad About the Boy by Helen Fielding 
(third Bridget Jones book and apparently most hated by fans? We'll see. I'm about half-way through now)
-The Good Luck of Right Now by Matthew Quick 
(same author as Silver Linings Playbook)
-A couple of Scandinavian mysteries
-And of course, a couple of smutty romances ;)

Vacation time

I'm off from work for a couple of weeks and I sure need the time off. When clients starts to irritate you, time for a break! I'm usually a mellow, go-with-the-flow type of person, but when I start getting too be a cranky pants, then it's vacation time!

No real plans. Doctors' appointments prevent any long journeys anywhere right now. Just some day-trips and playing tourist in my city. There are all sorts of festivals and lots of free music shows around.  Money is very tighter this year because of medical expenses and at the same time trying to save to buy a house. Been trying to save for a while now and it's not easy. The cost of living keeps on rising, but my salary doesn't keep pace.

I do try not to succumb to the temptation that just because I'm on a vacation, it's a free-for-all food-wise. Since it's summer, there is more tasty local produce around so there's no excuse to eat crap when tasty strawberries and veggies like lettuces, such as Swiss chard, are available and not trucked in from the other side of the world.
  

One of the hardest situations for me to navigate these days are parties and BBQs. When treats are all laid out in front of me, I am now tempted. I think it's just because I'm in a more vulnerable head-space right now. I usually bring along a fruit or veggie tray and stick with the healthy stuff and keep as far away physically from the treats as possible. I have actually left a party early when I felt like I was going to cave in. Most friends seem to understand. If they don't they are just not real friends.

More of the same and Wednesday Weigh in

The numbers on that scale don't lie, I'm at 182.3lbs. So holding pretty well steady for the past while. I don't mind too much. This medication I've been on has been challenging. The fatigue and occasional bloating, just ick. Anyway, another month on the meds to go.

I've had some close calls with cravings and such but most of the time, I've been able to let them pass. Mostly. I did have a 1/2 cup of lime green jello this past weekend. I still have no clue why I've been craving that for the past few weeks. But that 1/2 cup did the trick and I'm not craving anymore. It's rare that I have sugary stuff. I've reduced the amounts of sugar I consume and when I do have some sweetness, it's maple syrup, honey or stevia, in small amounts.

Was a good girl on Canada Day. Did not indulge but waved my red and white flag instead!

Almost, but not quite

Had a tough day today. One of many these days. When I got home, I just wasn't in the best mood or head space. Tonight I almost binged. A small variety of delivered crap was in front of me and I could only eat a couple of pieces of white-meat fried chicken. I picked the skin off, too greasy and tasted like cigarette ashes.

Even though I consciously know not to turn to food for comfort, I still sometimes do. No matter how many books I read or how much counselling I get.  I'm just glad I was able to stop and think and act before it was too late... Before I felt bloated and sick and ashamed. 

I've thrown out the rest of the food, except the green salad. I'll save that for tomorrow.  I'm still a bit hungry, but I'm making a better choice: some wild strawberries from my garden. Cleanses the palate nicely :)  Sweet, tiny and delicious and what my body needs. Not crap processed junk food. Before bed, I'll head for a nice relaxing bath and a good think about things.

Working Hard to Maintain

You know, I just wish things were easier but they are not. So I have to deal with these issues rather than bury my face in a pile of chips or chocolates like I might have done a few years back.  I'm having to work so much harder now just to maintain at 181 lbs.  Food is being tracked. Exercise has been stepped up, literally. Still walking before and after work but also walking up and down the stairs in my house, since it's nice and cool inside :)

One thing I've slacked on this past week is hydration. I have get that water in! Especially now that we have hotter and more humid days.

I've also been getting "sausage fingers" during the walks outdoors. But that's a normal circulation issue  for me--means my body is working extra hard.

Lime Jello hankerings have been driving me a little insane, but I've been ignoring then so far. Why of all things lime jello??  Sugar, sodium, or the gelatin?  I tried limes in my water, limes and a little stevia with water... but no dice. I've got some people coming over this weekend. If I'm still hankering for this, I'll do up some jello shots for them and make a little 1 cup of the green goo for me.

I'm looking forward to some time off work soon. I love my job, but everyone needs a break once in a while. One week is okay. But with two or more away, I feel like I've really left the job and those worries behind. Even if it's just a staycation. Lots of music fests are and will be happening so I'm going to unwind to the music!

Anyway I bought a lottery ticket, a very rare purchase for me. Who knows, maybe I'll win a free ticket! Ha!

Weigh-In Wednesday and Re-Thinking Food

I've been doing okay and have been walking briskly part-way to work 4/5 days. And try a get a quickie nooner walk in there too. Trying to be active at the end of the work day is tough and it to be honest it doesn't happen. I do about 5K total for the day. Right now my goal while on these meds is not to gain. Another month or so and I should be off them. So far I've been successful in keeping away the gains: I'm still at 181 lbs.  

As for food, I looked over my little collection of recipe and weight-loss books over the weekend and I did try a few new recipes...

Breakfast:
-Veggie packed mini-quiches (no crust, with a small bit of lactose-free Swiss cheese)
Lunch:
-Turkey Burger on a Portobello mushroom cap, topped with grilled zuchs and onion 
Supper:
-Lemon Garlic Shrimp with asparagus and peppers

They were good and didn't require too much more time in the kitchen than usual. I think for the last  while I did find myself in a bit of a cookery rut there. I truly hate spending hours in the kitchen. My Mom loves it and would do it the live-long day but I didn't inherit the kitchen gene. I'd rather spend my time in my studio painting or meeting friends or just enjoying the day. So I usually prep on the weekends and freeze a lot of meals. Helps me out especially when I come home some nights nearing 7pm! Blah! Those are the nights when I do come home hungry, tired and vulnerable to naughty temptations. Having good nutritious food around saves my bacon, ha ha! 

Seriously, on those nights, I do consciously take time to eat at the table, preparing a nice setting, chew slowly and savour what I'm eating.  Just that small change has been so so helpful in turning my fat-girl thinking around. Mindless eating is a sure road back to morbid obesity.