Friday 27 June 2014

Almost, but not quite

Had a tough day today. One of many these days. When I got home, I just wasn't in the best mood or head space. Tonight I almost binged. A small variety of delivered crap was in front of me and I could only eat a couple of pieces of white-meat fried chicken. I picked the skin off, too greasy and tasted like cigarette ashes.

Even though I consciously know not to turn to food for comfort, I still sometimes do. No matter how many books I read or how much counselling I get.  I'm just glad I was able to stop and think and act before it was too late... Before I felt bloated and sick and ashamed. 

I've thrown out the rest of the food, except the green salad. I'll save that for tomorrow.  I'm still a bit hungry, but I'm making a better choice: some wild strawberries from my garden. Cleanses the palate nicely :)  Sweet, tiny and delicious and what my body needs. Not crap processed junk food. Before bed, I'll head for a nice relaxing bath and a good think about things.

2 comments:

  1. Nikki,
    Here for you. You did something miraculous and i hope you fully appreciate and have given yourself proper credit. This road isn't easy sometimes. Emotional eaters like us-- we must remember food isn't a therapist... but I get it-- it's hard to reference what we've read or the counsel we've received when we're in the moment--and it all looks like a good escape for a little while... I applaud you, Nikki... You turned this thing upside down and you won this time. Wishing you more strength, my friend. You're doing miraculous things.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for the kind words Sean. Scares me that I fell back into a very old pattern so easily. So very easily. No I hadn't given myself much credit for stopping. Thanks helping me see things in a different light :)

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