Friday, 27 June 2014

Almost, but not quite

Had a tough day today. One of many these days. When I got home, I just wasn't in the best mood or head space. Tonight I almost binged. A small variety of delivered crap was in front of me and I could only eat a couple of pieces of white-meat fried chicken. I picked the skin off, too greasy and tasted like cigarette ashes.

Even though I consciously know not to turn to food for comfort, I still sometimes do. No matter how many books I read or how much counselling I get.  I'm just glad I was able to stop and think and act before it was too late... Before I felt bloated and sick and ashamed. 

I've thrown out the rest of the food, except the green salad. I'll save that for tomorrow.  I'm still a bit hungry, but I'm making a better choice: some wild strawberries from my garden. Cleanses the palate nicely :)  Sweet, tiny and delicious and what my body needs. Not crap processed junk food. Before bed, I'll head for a nice relaxing bath and a good think about things.


  1. Nikki,
    Here for you. You did something miraculous and i hope you fully appreciate and have given yourself proper credit. This road isn't easy sometimes. Emotional eaters like us-- we must remember food isn't a therapist... but I get it-- it's hard to reference what we've read or the counsel we've received when we're in the moment--and it all looks like a good escape for a little while... I applaud you, Nikki... You turned this thing upside down and you won this time. Wishing you more strength, my friend. You're doing miraculous things.

    1. Thanks for the kind words Sean. Scares me that I fell back into a very old pattern so easily. So very easily. No I hadn't given myself much credit for stopping. Thanks helping me see things in a different light :)