Sometimes You Just Need a Griddled Cheese Sandwich

I've been sick for the past couple of days with a sore throat, stuffed nose and feeling like a truck ran over me. Colds and flus always seem to pop up at the changing of seasons. To keep my immune system up, squash soup  and other kinds of soups have been on the menu along with scrambled eggs and other bland and light eats. I've lost my appetite for my paleo/primal regime... I can't stand to eat meat, sweet potatoes or kale right now. 

The other night I just had this craving for a griddled cheese sandwich. I hadn't thought of one of those in a very long time, but it definitely is one of my past comfort foods. Since my man doesn't follow the same diet as I do, there is bread and cheese and all sorts of other processed food in the house. It doesn't bother or tempt me as much as it did at first. 

But for some reason I just wanted that griddled cheese! It was delicious. Two slices whole wheat bread, a slice of processed cheese and butter on the outside and then throw it on the griddle! Simple and just what I needed. No evil after effects either! However, I don't feel like having another for a long while. No, it's not paleo/primal by any means, but I don't feel like a sandwich will derail my long-term eating plan.

The only  exercise I've been doing is up and down the stairs and ten minute walks around my block. But I've been feeling lumpy and dumpy lately... for about the past month or so. My weight on the scale doesn't seem to reflect how I'm feeling on the outside... feeling chubby and tubby.

Plans for the upcoming week: shaking off this cold. Exercise. Lots of nutritious food. Prepping meals in advance. No more griddled cheese :)

Connections

There's a fellow blogger here in the interwebz who reminds me quite a lot of my past self. And it makes me sad...

About ten years ago I was super-shy, introverted, only had one friend, likely depressed, lost in  an online world and a world of books and games, sleeping my weekends away, not going out of my parents' house very often and not dating or even thinking about experiencing true love.

Reading her blog makes me so uncomfortable because she's who I could have been had I stayed in my rut.

What changed for me long ago was I took a big risk to break away from my family, moving to another town and to taking a job outside my comfort zone.  After making a wide variety of friends and dating on and off, and pondering the universe thinking about what being human really means, I've started to settle into the life I'd longed for all those years ago.

This change didn't happen overnight. It took a few years to get the ball rolling.  I started small by reading books like the how to make friends ones by Dale Carnegie, then just getting out there in the world, joining clubs, volunteering for charities, asking guys out, making mistakes and making a fool of myself sometimes... because that's how you learn!

Now I have a great job, a loving man, plans for a family of our own and a large circle of friends near and far. I'm not as afraid as I was about meeting strangers in person or trying new things. Fear was holding me back for so long.

I still struggle with a few things, with fear every so often, communicating effectively with my man and of course my weight issues which I'll likely struggle with for the rest of my life. But I'm living this life as fully, completely as I can. I'm not wallowing in a sea of self-pity, I'm not sleeping my life away anymore.



"Only connect! That was the whole of her sermon. Only connect the prose and the passion, and both will be exalted, and human love will be seen at its height. Live in fragments no longer. Only connect..."  -Howards End by EM Forster.

Three Down

Already three pounds down! It must have been partly water retention from the salty and carby diet of the past couple of weeks. The hike in the rain on Saturday and eating healthy food has me back on the right course. The weather sucked on Saturday but some of the trails are crushed rock so not terribly muddy or slippery.  I was out there for just over three and a half hours, but I'm not  an expert hiker like our friend Jeanette so I stuck to the easier trails. It was too rainy to bring the camera. I got drenched especially my hiking shoes  but I  didn't care one little bit :)

We're having a nice warm weather streak here so I took a long walk after work on Monday and felt great once I got home. Felt even better having remembered to plug in the crock pot in the morning, then coming home to find supper all ready! Pork butt was on sale this week and acorn squash are plentiful so I chopped some onions, garlic, threw it all in the crock pot with rosemary, thyme, salt and pepper. It smelled soooo good. The pork fell apart, in a good way!! I ate it over some greens.

Tonight is mid-week chore night and I've laundry to do. Fun times! Anyhoo, I think by next weekend another few pounds will be gone.

Five Up

I've been Missing in Action for a couple of weeks. Work sent me out to back to back conferences when a colleague who was supposed to attend had a death in the family. I only had a couple of days to prep for the trips so I packed some LaraBars, nuts, Almond milk and steel-cut oatmeal and hoped for the best.

The first conference was held in Nowheresville, far from civilization. It's meant to be a conference centre to concentrate on your organization's issues and not be distracted by the city's temptations... Anyway, the food was bad, just lots of processed crap everywhere, but I tried to make the best out of it by choosing veggies or fruit. The suppers were carb-laden nightmares.

There was a basic gym... no windows, not very good air circulation, a couple of treadmills, ellipticals, body balls and a range of hand weights. A super-chlorinated indoor/outdoor pool was also available... but I didn't use it. They had also a few easy trails around the woods, so that made for nice brisk walking circuits.

Wow, the days were so long and draining... sitting, talking and taking notes. Then break for food and repeat with the blah blah blah, argh!

Second conference was about the same, except more nutritious food served and held in a hotel in a major city. But no on-site gym or pool so they gave vouchers to go five blocks away to a regular gym. Thank goodness it had everything one could wish for. I was able to re-stock some almond milk and pick up organic dates and natural almonds at a health food store.

Upshot is I've gained five pounds. And I feel every five of them. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't exercised each day and actually ate all the crap food that was on offer?

I'm happy to be back home now and back to my regular food and exercise routines. I know the pounds will fall away pretty quickly in the next week or two. I've a three hour hike planned for tomorrow rain or shine!

Pushing myself

Got an hour in of yard work today, but afterward, I just felt sweaty, tired, less stressed but very deflated. I didn't want to mow the lawn and yank weeds but I knew that if I didn't get my fat ass in gear, it wouldn't get done. I'm feeling guilty that I don't have the energy to do my strength workout or yoga tonight.

Although I'm healthier than I was last year, my goal of being lean and fit seems so far away right at this moment. I know we all have these moments sometimes... and the trick is not to wallow like a pig in the muck and think that it is time to give up....because it's not. 

"Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time."

- Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar

Not working it

Being back at work from vacation this past week has not been a joy.... personality clashes in the team have been escalating. My job is very sedentary, I'm at the computer all day and for the most part I'm responsible for my own work and getting my projects completed on time. There are some projects that require teamwork. The consequence of this situation is that we've had to work longer hours to cover a Passive-Aggressive colleague's work that has been left undone. Sigh.

 

By the time I get home, have supper, run errands, get stuff ready for the next day, get some yoga in there, I'm just wiped out and sleep way into the morning.... and yes, missing my morning workout. This has to change! Since the Labour Day weekend is coming up, I'm hoping to de-stress and get back on track.

 

Eating has been okay but I'm not getting enough water during the work day and drinking too much coffee. Bad combo, I know it! Also not getting enough veggies in and now is the best time to take advantage of farm fresh produce. One cheat: I did eat some bread and paid dearly for it with major gas and nasty intestinal disruptions.  

 

The dial on the scale hasn't moved this week but that could be the dust and grime in it. It's one of those old-timey dial scales that I bought in 1999. This coming week, I am going to spend $40 or so on a digital scale to get more accurate results.

Back from vacation

Being back in my own bed feels so so good! But I do miss the sounds of the crickets and tree frogs at the campsite. I do not miss the noisy weekender campers but thankfully I brought along my earplugs and sleeping mask. We spent our days mostly swimming and hanging out at the beach, a couple of days hiking and one day it was so rainy we found a mall and shopped.

We had over 14hrs of driving one way, so we did have to stop for meals and sleep. Although I did bring some provisions with me, they were mainly healthy snack foods. We stopped at roadside diners for the most part because the cooks in the kitchen can be way more flexible with their menu than any fast-food place could ever be.

Close to the campground was a farm with a huge variety of fresh fruit and veggies as well as big fields to "pick-your-own" berries, peaches or cherries.

We did go out a few times for supper at restaurants. I was surprised that many of the menus in New York State had a calorie count beside every item! That was an eyeopener. I had grilled chicken and salad and at another chain restaurant they had a spaghetti squash instead of pasta with a meat sauce so I went for that.

For our main meals we'd go into town every couple of days and buy meat or fish for grilling on the BBQ.

Otherwise here is a typical camping day:

Breakfast

Protein powder shake with water or Scrambled Eggs

Peaches or Pluots (crazy hybrid of a plum and an apricot, tasted more plummy) or other fruit

Snack

Natural Almonds or Dates

Lunch

small tin of Tuna on Lettuce

Cucumbers and Tomatoes

Carrots

Supper

organic Sausage on the BBQ (or other grilled meats or fish)

roasted Corn on the cob

Salad

If still hungry, I ate fresh fruit.

Drank lots of water! As an alternative, I drank some flavoured seltzer once in a while.

As we went through New York City twice, I did Plan Cheats:

Two slices Pizza

One Hot Dog

One Italian Ice

Unplanned cheats

One slice of locally made Rhubarb-Apple Pie

One "Whatchamacallit" Chocolate Bar

I was hoping not to gain any weight while on vacation and I didn't. Still the same. My activity level wasn't up enough to lose any weight.

Overall, I do feel so much less stressed for completely unplugging and just putting my mind on vacation. The only care in the world I had was having enough trashy magazines to read at the beach!

On Vacation

My man and I are going on vacation shortly and I can guarantee I'll be aiming for a 90% clean eating vacation. Since we'll be camping, we'll be eating lots of veggies and grilling on the bbq at the campsite. We're not going into the remote woods or anything... we'll be about 20 minutes by car away from civilization.

 

While on the road however, sometimes choices are limited. For snacks, I've stocked up on high quality organic natural almonds, dates and some trail mix. Every town has a grocery store, so there's no excuse not to pick up veggies and fruit.

 

I'll also be tracking and will probably post my food journal when I get back. 

 

This is my first long vacation in eight months so I'm looking forward to hiking and swimming every day and to completely unplugging from technology for a few weeks :)