Saturday, 22 December 2012

Still shoveling show

We got a huge dump of heavy snow yesterday and I'm burning calories like mad shoveling this sh%t.  A foot of snow so far, and at the end of my 25 foot driveway was 4 foot mountain of extra muck (snow, salt, sand mix) from the street courtesy of the city plow. I'm so tired and have a bit of a chill, so with 4 hours total outdoors and  1/3 of the job done, I've packed my shovel away for the night.

I don't feel like doing the rest of my indoor chores, but if I don't do them, who will? My man should be back here tomorrow night so I'm hoping he'll share the load. Christmas is coming and don't have much done and we're expecting a houseful of guests.

Since my dad passed away, I've been distracted and not able to sleep well during the night or focus during the day. Even making simple decisions is difficult. I wouldn't have thought that this grieving process could affect my personality this much but it has.

I realize now what a unique part he played in my life and no one can replace that. Small things like handy-man projects around my house, our similar sense of humour and the wise advice he'd give me when I needed a friendly ear. Makes me so sad that I'll never have that kind of relationship with anyone again.

Eating my emotions has been an easy solution this past month but I've slowly changed things around. I've been up and down the past couple of days. No big pigging out on dirty greasy food, however I've snacked on a few treats: 2 Lindor coffee-flavoured chocolates, an almond croissant and a chocolatine. The rest of the time, I've been trying to eat as mindfully as possible and it seems to be working.

I might do some yoga in a little while but certainly a warm relaxing lavender-scented bath is on the agenda before bed.

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