Day 1 of Whole30

Breakfast:
2 scrambled eggs with mushrooms
Half a large sweet potato
Tablespoon of pomegranate seeds

Found I really had to make time for a 20 minute sit-down breakfast.

Lunch:
Salad with grilled chicken and 1/2 strip of bacon
1 tbsp Organic EVOO as salad dressing
2 dates
1 apple

Felt tired and had a headache in the afternoon at work. Might be a variety of reasons like the six hours of sleep I got last night, the weather which is much warmer than usual or allergy season is in full swing.

Supper:
Piece of cod
Wilted kale with 3 mushrooms sliced
Carrots

Dessert:
2 dates stuffed with 1/2 tsp sunflower seed butter and 1/2 a walnut.

What I found was since my lunch was a bit skimpy, I was hungrier at the end of the day and ... not a good thing in my case as I tend to overeat and make bad choices in the evenings. Will try and incorporate more veggies, like maybe julienned beets into the salad. Drank a lot of water during the day, sometimes with a squeeze of lemon or lime juice.

I wasn't able to give up chewing gum... oh well, in the grand scheme of what I'm trying to accomplish, to me gum is the least worrisome of my bad habits right now.

Trying my best to realise that food is fuel for my body, nothing more.

Whole30 starts tomorrow

I'm starting the Whole30 and looking forward to a challenge or two or three!  I know the biggest challenge for me will be giving up chewing gum. It's been a useful tool for me when I'm in the company of friends and they are having dessert and I'm not, just to pop in a stick of gum and it'd make my cravings for sweets just disappear. I know gum is loaded with chemical goo so I'll hope that I can make it through the month of the Whole30 gum-free.

The other challenge will be no sweetener in my morning coffee. I've tried almond milk but it's not the same. Will have to give coconut milk a try.

Week in review: Fail

This past week has not been good and the scale shows it. Up four pounds. After a week of medical tests and more to go through in May, stress, worry and loneliness have been playing a big factor. My man has been semi-supportive, not sabotaging but not able to be really be there for me.

I over-ate in general over five days, had a cheese and cracker fest and scarfed down a few pastries and chips. Also had some diet soda and a few Gin and Tonics.  Very disappointed at myself that I couldn’t handle things like a normal person but turned to food (and a bit of alcohol) once again for comfort.  Actually, I’m angry at myself! I should know better that food will not solve my problems: it will only create more.

A bunch of people in the blogosphere are doing the Whole 30 beginning in May. I’m hopping on that band wagon. I need a kick in the ass.

Need Sleep!!

Having a hard time lately turning my brain off at night. Even though I turn off the TV, computer other stimulating devices early, my brain keeps whirring! So many thoughts, worries. Personal and work stuff all mixed together.

Lack of sleep is a big trigger in overeating, for me anyway, and I downed a small box of crackers I was given at work. What was I thinking? I was thinking it was an easy fix. Plus I've been overdoing it on the portion sizes... have to watch that like a hawk this week.

Workout wise I've started to mix it up by doing some weight training DVDs that I bought real  cheap from a going out of business sale.  First up Kelly Coffey Meyer.

Didn't lose anything this past week. I'm not surprised. Anyway here's a song from my favourite insomniac compatriot Dallas Green: Sleeping Sickness by City and Colour

Easter and changing the menu

My mom used to cook up a storm for holidays but now she’s changing her tune.  This Easter was a little different. Only roast turkey--no added ham, no sugar and butter in the boiled carrots mashed potatoes and turnip, and much much much less chocolate than in previous years. Yes I wrote she used to ADD SUGAR TO VEGGIES!!

Since our family dynamic has changed, I see how much my father’s influence on the foods we ate really affected us all. He was all for meat and potatoes and only in the last part of his life he’d begun to enjoy leafy green salads. He was also one for insisting on having desserts and lots of chocolaty and salty snacks on hand at all times. This year, my mom baked one pie. One instead of the usual five! I was amazed. She is now finding her way in nutrition and realizing that food does not equal love.  I can say the changes are making for a more pleasant time at the holiday table.

Ticking items off the list

Got a  bunch of yucky paperwork items off my to-do list, some of them urgent, and it wasn't so bad. So happy to have gotten up off my ass!!! Next week I'm going to start to tackle taxes, oh joy. I'm not leaving it to the last minute.

 

I've been sick this past week with a cold but I still did some fast-paced walking up and down some hills outside since it's been so nice. Didn't make me feel any worse.  Down a pound this week.

 

Lately, one thing I did notice food-wise was my portion size on meats and fats was increasing. Am reining that in! I figure I can have all the raw or steamed veggies I want (no white potatoes) but when it comes to avocados, meats and some fruits, like dates, I have to be careful.

 

Have been lurking around reading other blogs... learning how to be consistent and strong and how not to do things so I don't wind up like a trainwreck and how not to make excuses up the wazoo.

Procrastination

I’ve been a lazy ass. With most everything else in my life especially paperwork, my attitude has been “Why do it today when I can do it tomorrow?” Time for a change in thinking. I’ve already done a time-management course in the past but this goes deeper than that.

Working with a counsellor has been helpful in determining why I’ve been avoiding doing paperwork and other things on my ‘to-do’ list. For me the big trigger has been stress and anxiety: fears of being judged and doubting myself. Also some relationship and related issues have come up. Solutions proposed: for starters, a strict schedule for sleep and exercise.  Some exercises to change my negative thinking.

Feeling lousy has led to my ass being parked on the couch for a few evenings this past week. I’ve not been exercising as much as I should.  Basic walking and carrying groceries from the store to home is not enough.

Food-wise I’ve done pretty well. Mostly eating clean. A few bites of bread in there, but otherwise I’m surprised I’ve been able to keep on track. I’ve not gained any weight… I've got to stay off the couch!

Still here

I’ve been taking an Internet break for the past while. Almost two months. I noticed that I’d been spending waaaaaaaaaay too many evening hours on the computer. I’d look up and it’d be 11pm, meaning at least four hours online. Yes at least four. I told myself “I’m doing valuable research by looking up info on nutrition, recipes and exercise” but really, I was fooling myself.  I’d get up from the couch and feel like crap and hobble off to a bad night’s sleep. SO NOT GOOD!  I know I was using the Interwebs  was a way to escape and procrastinate and not get essential  stuff done like exercise, food prep, keeping my place tidy by doing chores, doing my taxes, ect. I lost focus and avoided lots of stuff, including friends. I've now limited myself to one hour max online for personal stuff and no more.

Last month, I started going to counseling sessions to understand what is with the major procrastination and other issues.  I’ve always battled low-level procrastination. But I’m thinking maybe the death of my father stirred up my emotional crap again.  I don’t know yet, but it was and is really affecting my life in a big way. At least I’m figuring it out.

Food intake had not been consistent, i.e. skipping breakfast a lot. Then overeating at suppertime. Also four big cheats in the past two months. One was my birthday, but I think I should be able to have a fancy dessert once a year. However the other three cheats were big dirty fatty high-caloried restaurant cheats.  I know that certain things triggered this and I was eating my emotions big-time.

Regarding exercise, have stuck with doing the morning walk and that’s it. I know I need to do way more to shrink.

As for where I am weight-wise: I went up to 199lbs but now back at 193-195. 

Past couple of weeks have been on point. My focus is back somewhat, but I'm eating clean, moving my fat ass and getting things done.