Finding a Routine that Sticks

I've had to work longer hours at the office lately, and will continue to do so until a huge project and presentation is complete at the end of February. I'll reward myself with a nice little vacation then. Soooooo looking forward to that. My biggest challenge is keeping my stress levels down. It's imperative that I do so. Exercise definitely helps with that, but those longer hours make finding room for exercise very difficult.

I've technically been getting 10K or more steps per day. Using the stairs at work instead of the elevator, and taking walking breaks in the building.  But that, combined with clean eating has not translated into weight loss. By the time I get home, it is past 7pm and I have to prep and then eat supper. I should be in bed by 11pm, but that doesn't happen often. I get sidetracked by the interwebs. Or a bit of stress-induced insomnia creeps in.

The only thing I can think of that will fit my schedule is exercise first thing in the morning. At least I can hop on the elliptical I have here, and not have to schlep to the gym in the dead dark cold of Winter. If I can also do a quick DVD workout with weights if too. I'm really not a morning person, but I've got to change this (at least temporarily), knuckle down, and get it done!! That new routine will start Monday morning.

Eating is not 100% perfect by any means, but I've not been binge eating or eating when not hungry. Navigating the Holidaze is always full of pitfalls. Carby and chocolatey pitfalls. I've stayed away from my main trigger food at parties this time of year: namely chips and dip. I just find something to drink, like sparkling water, tea or coffee. And at work, if I get hungry, my first instinct at work is no longer to head to the vending machine for chips. Instead it makes more sense to grab a banana or carrots and hummus, which I always have handy at work. At home, I keep the cabinets and fridge stocked with only nutritious food. I know I feel awful if I eat before bed, so that doesn't happen anymore.  My portions have been too large. I know this all too well.

These next few weeks are going to be hard. This coming week at work with work parties, during and after.  Then two weeks off work, traveling to relatives, in-laws and out-laws, and New Years with friends. At least at my mother's apartment, there is an exercise room.

Interestingly my friend throwing the big NYE party this year had gastric bypass about 2 yrs ago to help control her diabetes and thyroid... but she still serves loads of junk food, or high-fat high-carb food when she hosts parties. She's under 200lbs now, but still has another 30-40 to go.  And another friend just had bypass surgery. In her case, I think that it might not work since she really loves food, especially ice cream. She even has a foodie Instagram!! I hope she can turn things around with therapy, which is required with her program. 

I've never thought seriously of getting surgery myself, since for me my weight is a completely mental issue--overeating junk especially is my default coping mechanism. Building new coping mechanisms, surgery or no surgery is essential to my recovery. Exercise is a big part of this.

I weighed in this morning at 186.1 lbs. So up a tiny bit from last month.

First Steps (again...)

First thing I did was an inventory of my kitchen pantry. Any snacks I had (a box of crackers, a box of cookies and some left-over Halloween candy) went to the office kitchen. My co-workers are like vultures so I can count on them to swoop in and eat anything left on the table!
The fridge and freezer were up next... not too bad... but a bag of forgotten carrots that could have made a nice soup :(  A few ended up outside for the wild rabbits, and the rest into the compost bin. 

The only "dirty carbs" I have left are some fancy slow-dried pasta, and a half a loaf of whole-wheat bread. So not bad there either. I'm slowly finishing those off and transitioning back to low-carb clean eating. 

No cheap chocolate this week, no chips, no cheezies. I didn't crave them at all. I've been drinking a lot of tea but still keeping to my one cup of coffee per day rule. I need the energy in the morning!
Did a mini-shop and got some fish fillets, some chicken breasts, salad, tomatoes, squash, and a bunch of fruit.
Meal-prep is this weekend, so it's back to looking at my recipe books and online.

Exercise has been a bit slow going since we hit the deep freeze here and I slipped on a patch of ice and fell on my caboose. My well-padded caboose. So I picked up my hand weights and have been doing upper body workouts, and slow walking for the moment. 

Weight: 185.7 lbs.

Waking from my Carb Coma

The last time I checked in here I was doing pretty well--finding it hard, but still doing okay. I decided to do a detox, an Internet detox as I was spending way too much time online, and procrastinating. By Midsummer, I was down to 150 lbs and feeling great. I was working my plan, mindful eating, not gorging, eating whole foods mostly plant based, low carb. Regular exercise every single day. 

What happened? A stress-storm: Being the only caregiver for a Mother with congestive heart failure, working full-time but being given more responsabilities for the same pay, struggling with bills, not being able to save money for a house, struggling with infertility... all that sent me back into a carb coma. White flour, processed foods, pizza, chocolate, large portions. Not making time for exercise. Not asking for help when I felt myself backsliding.
Current weight: 189.6 lbs It's easier than you think to gain weight. It didn't take much time at all to regain. And then some. I feel sluggish and tired all the time: carb coma! I've got to get back to being healthy again!
I'm back in the saddle again, starting now.

Good choices=Good results

Pretty simple, no? In practice, it can be tough. Tough braking habits, and patterns that I seem to want to repeat. 

I'm feeling better since last posting. But even while recovering, I made consciously good choices every step of the way in terms of food purchasing, prep, portions, and consumption. Seriously, baby steps from the Mindful Eating way of life. As in eating at the table with no distractions (no TV, book, phone, device). Chewing slowly, thoroughly, stopping halfway through to gauge hunger levels, etc. Yeah, during my sick days at home, I checked a lot of books out on my e-reader about mindful and intuitive eating.

I'm still trying to eat lots of veggies, and will have maybe 1/2 my meals vegetarian. So meals like chili without the carne, Indian-style chickpea stew are staples this time of year. I discovered cashew cheese, and that is a wonderful little treat with a small glass of red wine: just delish. And I've finally been able to master my cranky oven to make non-burnt roast chicken. I did re-stock my freezer with some homemade chicken soup just in case...

Exercise has generally been on the minimal side, but I do the stairs inside at home and at work. It's just still too cold outside to walk like I like (-10 to -20C brrr).  Unfortunately my hockey skates got lost/stolen after lending them to a friend, so skating on the Canal is out for a while until I can find a comfy new pair, which is actually very difficult. Since she is paying for the replacement I'm taking my time choosing the right pair. 

I did check out an Orange Theory class with my sister-in-law on Sunday, and I am still feeling twinges today! It's very expensive, very intense, but very good. I was a sweaty mess at the end. Too bad it's far out of my way, or I'd be tempted to join. I'm saving my money for a down payment on a house so: priorities.

Weight 174.8 lbs

Sicko

On my third cold of this year, yep, number three of 2019! Hopefully it's three strikes and it's outta here? For good? I did get the flu shot, but can't they invent the cold shot? I blame my idiot colleagues who come to work coughing and sickly.

I've not succumbed to crackers with my soup, no drive-thrus, nor ordering in.  Very sorely tempted to do it! I did have groceries delivered once which cost me six dollars. I'm cheap, so that hurts my budget, ha ha.

I've tried to keep lunches and suppers fairly simple. A protein, lotsa veggies, and a nice low-gi carb. Chilli is a staple. Or home-made veggie or chicken soup, or eggs and peppers if I'm in "cold virus attacks" mode. I've not been into breakfast lately, but sometimes I'll have a meal replacement shake like Vega One.

The only regular exercise that I've been doing lately is shovelling. Sometimes it's 20 minutes, other times it's a couple of hours. I think I've hit the eliptical maybe once a week or so. I do still walk outside, but lately it's been too hellishly cold (-20C/-4F) or colder. Or it's freezing rain! So... just to and from the bus stop on my way to work--if I'm not sick.

My weight has stayed the same. Sigh. I know I lose if I'm focused, tracking/watching portions, and getting in a good dose of sweaty daily exercise. 

On the weigh down

Weight 181 lbs. So far so good. It's been hard to resist a lot of the good food and treats flying around. Not going to lie, I've hard more than my fair share of salted caramel shortbread cookies. But, they were a unique homemade treat that I made room for in my calorie budget. 

Writing a few quick sentences in my journal first thing in the morning, really helps. I just set out my intentions for the day. Exercise goals, eating strategies, feelings, whatever comes to mind.

This is crunch time. The next few weeks, I have some sort of event involving food almost every single day. My goal is not to gain over the holidays. Reading over some old posts, I remind myself when selecting food from a menu or pot luck to think "Is it worth it?". 

On the exercise front, the holidays usually involve a lot of sitting, eating, and talking. I do have plans to hop on the treadmill when I'm visiting my mother since her apartment has a gym.  I do hope the weather is cold enough to go ice skating on the canal. Sometimes it's hit and miss. I could head down to NYC and do Rockefeller Center for some skating... just like Snoopy! 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to anyone who passes by here :) 

And so it begins...

The daily journaling is going well. I honestly didn't think it would. I just write a line or two in the morning to set out my intentions for the day, and a few of lines at night as a recap of actions emotions for the day. It's keeping me from thinking food is a solution for my issues.

I think this is going to be important in the next month and a half... it's that time of year of get-togethers, parties and temptations everywhere! This is going to test my resolve!

Weigh-in: 185.5 lbs

Status Quo

I hoped I could write I've made tons of progress, but no.  I'm in the same spot as ever. Weight swings from 180s to low 190s and I'm a size 16. Definitely lack of sleep, teamed with fighting the Black Dog of depression saps all energy and motivation. Days seem to melt into one another. Temptations flow in. And here I am again.

Weekends have been difficult. After seemingly long days at the office, and insomnia at night, I'll sleep in Saturday and Sunday morning. Then we go out for supper--could be restaurant, could be with at a family member or friend's house. And overeat there. Sometimes I do cook something, it's usually a healthy balanced meal, but I overeat.

Although I've stuck to walking to the store get groceries, I've sabotaged that by having a meal delivery kit to bring three big suppers to my door for the week. The portions in those are huge so even though the meals are supposed to feed two, I could, and should, divvy them into four meals to suit my nutritional and calorie needs.

Daily walking has not happened in a consistent way over the summer and my flabby thighs show it. On average I guess I walked outdoors maybe twice a week. This past Thursday, I walked about 30 minutes uphill after work and felt so much better for it afterwards. I did go on some bike rides this past summer but not enough for it to be called a workout in anyway.

Plan for the week: Daily writing in a paper journal. Ten minutes.

Might seem simple, but it's a start. One day at a time. Sitting down (not in front of tv, or device, or laptop), taking just ten minutes  each day to write initentions for the next day (re:family, food exercise, work, hobbies), feelings, what happened during the day, and a food log. 

Food Plan for the month: Limiting food box delivery to once a month.  

Why restart again now? Winter is coming, it's getting colder, and the sunlight here has shifted. I tend to hibernate in winter already and absolutely don't want to let the Black Dog have free reign.